age

I'm older now. I can't believe the last time I wrote on this thing was in December... I mean, it makes a little sense to me. I don't really have a reason to write here. This could be read by anybody and let's face it, if you have a blog, you want attention. Of some kind. You want someone to read what you're writing. I think I've been a little ashamed of that. But anyway- being a birthday girl and traveling to PITT this week made me realize that I'm going to be a sucky correspondent. I mean really... how many of my high school friends will I actually talk to on the phone when I'm not living in M anymore? With facebook you really don't need to put anything out there. You can just send you're thoughts off to someone and let them think what they will about the attention you've given them. But if you call someone... or God, WRITE to them... I want someone to write to me. I want a pen pal so much. I've really wanted a pen pal for as long as... well at least as long as I've been going to camp. Whenever I go back to school I want letters from my summer friends and even though I send some their way, they rarely reply. K does though. We've switched to email though I suppose. She's getting married. And moving closer to where I live- just as I'm moving away. I wonder if 15 year old me would ever sleep knowing all this. I had a birthday party tonight you know. It was strange. I mean... lovely but... it mostly just made me miss D. It's hard for me having him so far away. He's not even really that far... what will I do next year when we're hours and hours apart? The same thing probably. I wish HE'D write to me. I'll write to him though. Do you ever feel like sometimes you have this need to do something you wish someone would do to you, to someone else? Like"I wish he would hold my hand. I'll hold his." So even though he never held your hand... you still get what you wanted. But not really. Never completely. Sometimes this is my life. I am a go getter but not the gone and gotten. Like I said though: I still get what I want. I should go to bed now. I've been flying all day and then partying... and now reading about vampires. Eclipse is such a lovely book. I wish the author didn't suck. I would enjoy it so much more.